This weekend in a nod of recognition to Melrose Place being brought back to life once again I spent a lovely afternoon at my friend’s apartment complex pool. While I basked in the heat of the final days of summer and made a half hearted attempt at finishing my book, I found it increasingly difficult to do so because of the three girls who decided to park it at the water’s edge right in front of me. The girls were very obviously straight out of college and embarking on very “grown up” lives and relationships. It took everything I had to sit in silence and pretend to read my book as I listened to these girls trade tales of hacking into their boyfriends’ facebook pages and scrolling through their blackberries of course ending the relationship with what they found.
Now I fully admit- I have no room to judge- do any of us??? Who didn’t, when they first started driving, do the occasional drive-by to see if the heart throb was home or not…or before a first date googled the person to see what we could find out? Isn’t that what the advances in modern technology are for???
Stalking, originally a man’s sport involving dogs, giant stags and guns has now taken on a new 21st century twist and suddenly it appears to be a ladies game.
According to our friends over at Urban Dictionary, Stalking is defined with the following three definitions:
1. A show of one's devotion.
2. When no just isn't enough
3. To follow and/or spy on someone you have feelings for.
Recently I have been plagued with tearful calls from girlfriends all over the country, all with one common theme- they “kinda” stalked their boyfriend and didn’t like what they fou
nd. Be it an email account left open on a laptop or a phone left at her house, apparently we ladies can’t help ourselves. While women are known to have maternal instinct and to be more in touch with suspicion can we be trusted to not look??? Finding emails, text messages and pictures from girls unknown on occasions when these boyfriends were having “a guy’s weekend” or “visiting family” bring on all sorts of questions- but how do you get to the bottom of that without admitting you looked? So instead of recognizing the major Red Flag that he is obviously a liar and possibly a cheat, they go into red alert Sherlock Holmes mode and try to bust him. It never works- the busting or the relationship. So I wonder these two things- is it really worth looking? And is it OK to look? Now ideally a man would have nothing hide and frankly the smart ones are familiar with the delete button- so are these guys just begging to be caught?
Regardless of it is OK or if they want to be caught- it happens every day all over the world and it seems that just like the classic man’s game of stalking their prey a heart gets hurt in our ladies game as well- only in our game it usually doesn’t result in a fabulous dinner feast and the stalker is the one hurt instead of the prey. So ladies, why do we do this to ourselves, have we lost the ability to just simply trust? So I am extending the challenge to myself and all of you out there- don’t do it. If you get a nagging feeling in your gut- talk to him don’t stalk him and if he doesn’t make you feel better and you still feel unsettled- WAKE UP- it is a Red Flag telling you he isn’t the one- get out and move on.
Now I fully admit- I have no room to judge- do any of us??? Who didn’t, when they first started driving, do the occasional drive-by to see if the heart throb was home or not…or before a first date googled the person to see what we could find out? Isn’t that what the advances in modern technology are for???
Stalking, originally a man’s sport involving dogs, giant stags and guns has now taken on a new 21st century twist and suddenly it appears to be a ladies game.
According to our friends over at Urban Dictionary, Stalking is defined with the following three definitions:
1. A show of one's devotion.
2. When no just isn't enough
3. To follow and/or spy on someone you have feelings for.
Recently I have been plagued with tearful calls from girlfriends all over the country, all with one common theme- they “kinda” stalked their boyfriend and didn’t like what they fou
nd. Be it an email account left open on a laptop or a phone left at her house, apparently we ladies can’t help ourselves. While women are known to have maternal instinct and to be more in touch with suspicion can we be trusted to not look??? Finding emails, text messages and pictures from girls unknown on occasions when these boyfriends were having “a guy’s weekend” or “visiting family” bring on all sorts of questions- but how do you get to the bottom of that without admitting you looked? So instead of recognizing the major Red Flag that he is obviously a liar and possibly a cheat, they go into red alert Sherlock Holmes mode and try to bust him. It never works- the busting or the relationship. So I wonder these two things- is it really worth looking? And is it OK to look? Now ideally a man would have nothing hide and frankly the smart ones are familiar with the delete button- so are these guys just begging to be caught?Regardless of it is OK or if they want to be caught- it happens every day all over the world and it seems that just like the classic man’s game of stalking their prey a heart gets hurt in our ladies game as well- only in our game it usually doesn’t result in a fabulous dinner feast and the stalker is the one hurt instead of the prey. So ladies, why do we do this to ourselves, have we lost the ability to just simply trust? So I am extending the challenge to myself and all of you out there- don’t do it. If you get a nagging feeling in your gut- talk to him don’t stalk him and if he doesn’t make you feel better and you still feel unsettled- WAKE UP- it is a Red Flag telling you he isn’t the one- get out and move on.
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