Dail it back…

In an effort to be a do-gooder I recently threw myself into a charity event where I met my newest crush… we raised plenty of awareness and a little money but frankly for me the new crush made it all worthwhile… I mean at this point my love life might as well become a charity. So what shall we call him… in light of what I realized on our date we shall call him Dial.

So when he picked me up I noticed from inside the house that the car was locked several times with the clicker- oh well, I do live in kind of a dicey neighborhood. But then when he came in and puppy took an instant shine to him and he immediately needed to wash his hands I got a little concerned- puppy is super clean, even puppy hates being outside and dirty! And then when the hand washing went on for a full two minutes- yes 120 seconds- I counted- the flag started waving.

The night progressed with wonderful conversation and several all too delicious cocktails and we ended up right back at my house. A few more quirks like not touching my throw blanket were noticed while we were making out like teenagers and then I so forwardly asked him if we could take it to the bedroom- yes yes yes- totally sluty moment to ask a man to stay over after our first date but I did- that man can kiss!

He agreed then when we made it upstairs he actually asked when I had last washed my sheets! Well at that point I knew this wasn’t going any further but couldn’t kick him out at that point. As soon as I confirmed that I had changed them just that afternoon I saw the relief on his face… a few more wonderful kisses and I was out like a light…

Till around 3 am when I was shook awake buy Dial- he was in full tilt panic mode and wanted to make sure I would lock the door behind him because he had to leave- I was so exhausted that I just went along with it- he left in such a rush but checked twice to make sure the door was locked behind him. It didn’t make any sense and I was so asleep that I fell back into bed.

But when I woke up in the morning with a vague recollection for the events of the night before I felt he had some explaining to do… so I waited till a more appropriate hour and called to ask what had happened that he fled my bed so suddenly (was secretly having major esteem issues that I had farted or something like that). So when he finally called me back and apologized I demanded to know what had happened… apparently he woke up and could not remember if he had left his back porch door locked! So he left me alone in bed to drive 20 minutes back across town to make sure it was locked… and of course it was! So hmmmm- can I date an OCD stud???

Lame ass theory- or is it?

In an effort to end it on the right note the crew decided to pack it up and get out of town to celebrate the final days of summer with a view of the water. That being said- I, being the creative genius that I am- prefer to drive alone. Yes- I love having my own wheels- kinda like an escape plan but honestly I tend to get some of my best ideas during windshield time so I carefully crafted my busy Friday so that I would be leaving a little later thus having my solo ride to think. Well, that lasted about an hour in when this crazy truck comes honking and flashing up behind me…Oh hot damn the boys were running late too.

So at the first stoplight we hit…(hmm what shall I name him for this story…Guy shall we) Guy hopped out of the boys car and jumped in my front seat. Let me back up a little- Guy is a guy’s guy, he goes out of his way to be an ass and make people think he is a douche bag. Guy comes off as the biggest tool in town, he treats girls like shit and somehow (actually I know the whole story- it is great) acquired the nickname of: Slut Mustard- all in all he is a total RedFlag. All that being said Guy has moments of such sincerity and support and that is why he is a friend. He has strangely been there at moments where I needed someone and didn’t even know it, he has had my back and has called me out when I am in the wrong.

I had so rudely had my alone time interrupted I decided Guy was going to pay for it. Since I had him stuck in the car with me I figured that he had some explaining to do- I truly did not understand the whole jack ass façade and I wanted answers. And shockingly he provided them…the whole thing is his way to weed out the people who really aren’t his friends, that if a person can hang in there through the all the douchie jack-assness and prove to him that they are real then he lets it down and is their friend- forever. That people that instantly become your best friend aren’t true and will not be there when you really need them.

I tried to press harder on the topic because I thought it was the stupidest thing I have ever heard and just as the pressure ramped up we hit another light and Guy literally jumped out of my car while it was still moving…jack ass.

It left me thinking…all of my closest friends have admitted to ma at some point that they thought I was bitch before we became friends, and yet all those friends are my life lines, I know that they will be there for me no matter what… So is Guy right? Do we need to test out our friends before we know they are for real? And if that is the case- do we need to test our suitors? If this theory is successful it leaves us with an amazing way to ensure that friends are real- could we ever pull this off to test a boyfriend? I sense an amazing experiment for fall…now to find the perfect test subject…